“I’m leaving.”
“I guessed that. Why are you leaving?”
“I can’t live this way anymore.”
“What way?”
“I can’t do this anymore, Josh. I can’t go on pretending I can share you and myself. It hurts too much.”
“You’re still asking me to make a choice.”
She shook her head. “No, I’ve taken the decision out of your hands. You and Lance travel together. You were lovers before I came into the picture. The last to arrive is the first on out the door."
“No…”
“Yes.” She brushed a soft kiss over his lips then rose from the bed.
“Abbie – “
“Good-bye, Josh”
“Baby, wait.” He followed as she headed down to the foyer. “Don’t you think the three of us should discuss this together?”
“No. It’s my decision to make.”
A toot of the horn announced her friends.
“Where will you go?” JC asked.
She shrugged. “I’ll stay with friends for now.”
“If you need anything, just call. I mean you gave up everything for us – “
“No, Josh, for you,” she corrected. She had done this for him. She reached up to kiss him softly. “Good-bye.”
“Abbie…” He watched helplessly as she opened the door and two male friends hauled her belongings out to an SUV.
Five days later, Lance came home to a dark house. He frowned, he didn’t think JC would still be going at Abbie for five days straight. But then when Lance wasn’t around, JC seemed to try and erase Lance from Abbie’s memory. The man had some genuine issues to resolve. Flipping the lights on dim, Lance discovered JC on the sofa. He was the very definition of dejection, curled up with his arms wrapped around his legs, his chin resting on his knees. He had several days growth of stubble on his face – which gave him a dangerous look until you saw the blood shot eyes.
Lance leaned over behind him to kiss his neck. “Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”
“Abbie’s gone,” JC muttered.
“Where is she?”
JC shrugged. “Gone.”
“When will she be back?”
“Never.”
“Never?”
“She left me. She didn’t want to be with us anymore.”
“Meaning me.” Lance sat beside JC and tried to hold him, but the man remained stiff.
“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who I am… who I belong with…”
Lance released him. “I see.”
“When you offered your love I was confused, hurt, lonely. You were like an oasis. I suck at relationships with women. You know that. But despite the fact we could never openly love each other, we worked.”
“Until Abbie came along.”
“I guess I couldn’t believe that two people could actually love me for me. And despite the fact I was juggling like mad I couldn’t decide who to let go.”
“So we made it easy for you not to make a decision when we said we’d share you.”
“It was like a dream come true except…”
“You didn’t want to share Abbie.”
“I didn’t. I really didn’t.”
“Abbie did her best to please both of us. She might have loved me, but she wasn’t in love with me. It was really hard for her – and she tried to be fair.”
“She was wonderful. I never appreciate how much she gave.”
“So, where does that leave us?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure of anything anymore.”
Lance nodded. In an odd way he understood what JC was going through. He would miss Abbie – certainly not in the same way as JC. He would miss her warmth, her caring, her sweetness.
With Abbie, JC could have the quote “normal” life. Family, the white picket fence. He couldn’t have that with Lance.
“I don’t think I’m gay, Lance. Not all the way any way. Not from the way I feel for Abbie.”
“I know,” Lance said softly.
“I love you, man… But Abbie…”
“Can give you what you always thought you wanted,” Lance finished for him.
“It’s not just that…I don’t know…just something.”
Lance rose with a sigh. “Sounds like your mind’s made up to me.”
“I’m sorry…”
“We all gambled on this one.” Lance stroked JC’s hair back then placed a soft kiss on his forehead. “I’ll be around if you ever need me.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll go pack – and you should go after Abbie.”
“I don’t know where she went,” JC lamented.
“If she wants you to come after her, she’ll leave a trail a mile wide.”
“What is she doesn’t?”
“She does, C.”
JC listened as he heard Lance bring his bags to the foyer. His soul ached. Abbie had gone and now Lance was leaving as well.
“You could stay for a while,” JC suggested when Lance lifted his final piece of luggage.
Lance shook his head. “We know that it isn’t me you really want, C. It’s Abbie.”
“Lance…”
The blonde set his suitcase down. He’d never seen JC so truly solitary since he had turned to Lance all those months ago. Once more the blue-eyed singer was more like a lost boy. Lance held him close, rocking him a little. JC cried softly on his shoulder.
“You go find Abbie, JC. Tell her you’ve decided it’s her you want. You’ll be okay then,” Lance soothed.
“She left.”
“So? Go after her.”
“How could she leave me if she loves me?”
“She didn’t leave you – she left ‘us’. Go find her.”
Lance released him and grabbed his bag once more. “See you around, “ he said in way of parting.
JC watched the car back out the drive.
Lance was gone.
Abbie had left, now Lance was gone.
No one stayed.
JC never went after Abbie, somehow convincing himself she would return on her own. He eventually returned to Orlando to escape the memories of shared love and laughter in California.