Night Cries

A soft noise woke Ciel from her light sleep. She listened. It seemed to be coming from above. The tower that housed what JC proclaimed was his ‘private domain’, where he did his work. When he came down from there he never seemed very happy and he paced a lot. She had never gone up there, to the top of the lighthouse.

After the first day of camaraderie, he had seemingly pushed her away. He expected a call saying they knew who she was. None had come. In the mean time, he was her reluctant, inattentive host. He saw that dinner was cooked and that was about it. She was left to entertain herself most of the time. If no one was missing her after two weeks, she doubted anyone was looking for her, so she had better make her peace with JC or leave.

Determinedly, she tossed aside her light covers and headed to the top of the lighthouse. Padding up the narrow stairs in her bare feet, she made no noise – but the noise that had wakened her grew louder. It sounded like weeping – more than weeping. Heart wrenching sobs from soul-deep. JC? What was wrong? She quickened her pace.

On the landing, she gave her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness before attempting to cross the vast area lit only by meager moonlight. She saw the large piano in the center of the circular room. Beyond that was a section of glass doors opening to the railed space outside – that was where the sobs came from. Rounding the piano, she spotted JC leaning back against the railing. His knees were drawn up to his chest, his head upon his knees. A spilled bottle of the Cristal he was fond of was at his side. Ciel went to him. Kneeling at his other side, she pulled him into her arms.

“Hush, Joshua. What hurts you so?”

“Go away, Ciel,” JC mumbled.

“I don’t think that is what you really want.”

It wasn’t. It felt good to be held, to be cared for. She smelled good, Ivory soap and baby powder. Clean. Her small hands stroked his hair and back as she nuzzled him soothingly. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had reached out to comfort him like this. Slowly, the sobs calmed to sniffles and he looked up into wise blue eyes. In the moonlight, she appeared to have a halo around her head.

“My angel girl,” he rasped with a tear-ravaged voice.

She wiped the tears from his eyes with tender fingertips. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m lonely, Ciel. I’m lonely and I’m empty inside. I’m all used up,” he told her, hopelessness in every word.

“You’re so young…” The pain and helplessness in his voice made her ache physically. She kissed his forehead. “Joshua, you aren’t alone.”

“I am.”

“I am here.”

He shook his head, withdrawing from her arms. He looked away. “You’ll be going soon.”

“Have you heard something?”

“No…”

“Then until you ask me to leave, I am going nowhere.”

“That’s not fair to you. I should send you somewhere.”

“I like it here.”

“I’ve put some people on your case. Someone has to be missing you.”

She touched his chin to bring his gaze back to hers. “I only know of one person who would miss me if I was gone tomorrow.”

“Me,” he whispered.

“You,” she confirmed.

“I would so miss you, Ciel.” He put his arms around her. “You make it bearable to face each morning.”

“Let’s put you to bed, so you can wake up tomorrow while it is still morning.” Ciel rose and helped him to his feet. He was a tad unsteady, so she braced him as best as she could. Slowly, they made their way down to the living quarters on the floor below. Once in his bedroom, she stripped him down to his shorts and urged him beneath the covers. “You get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

He took her hand. “Stay here tonight, Ciel.”

“Joshua…”

“Let me feel someone beside me – just for tonight.”

She still hesitated.

“Please.”

He looked so much like a sad, lost little boy; she relented. She settled next to him in the big bed. “Good night, Joshua.”

Taking her hand in his, he murmured, “Good night, Ceely.”

The nickname jolted through her like an electric charge – and she wondered who had called her that in the past.

After that night, JC’s melancholy had eased some, his sense of aloneness abated. Ciel made her constant presence known – whether he approved or not. No longer did she leave him to his solitary domain. She invaded the top of the lighthouse. First came an area rug, then various pillows and a couple of bed pillows until she had built herself a cozy little nest. She was in his direct line of sight as he sat at the piano. She didn’t make conversation. She was content to read the stack of magazines and books she had carried up the stairs – or used his borrowed laptop. She was simply there.

At the start, he chafed at her invasion of his privacy. How dare she when he had expressly forbidden her to even come up to the tower? He didn’t need distractions when he was trying to write. Soon he discovered her intrusion was exactly what he had needed. Her calm negated his worry. Without a word being spoken, she had released his imprisoned muse. Haltingly, he began to put notes and chords together. The yellow legal pad that had lain empty for months now bore scribbles of thoughts and lyrics.

And he was longer left to his solitary drinking. If he went to the tower with his bottle of Cristal, Ciel followed him. No more looking over the vast churning water in unbearable silence – she chatted about the beauty of the night, not the desolation. The peace was something to be celebrated. Sometimes, they would lie together in her nest of pillows and hold each other in comfortable silence. If she sensed sadness in him, she’d touch his chin to gain his attention and smiled. Her sweet smile was something he couldn’t resist. Or if he had a good day at the piano, he would play her a new melody. She was doggedly determined he would not drink alone – and if the Cristal proved stronger than she, Ciel would listen to his lament, hold him, and assure him she wouldn’t leave him alone in his misery.

His angel girl brought him back to life. JC cared about living once more. A dark abyss had yawned large before him – and she had pulled him back from the edge just in time. She was his miracle. His angel.