Wings

Ciel began to worry something was seriously wrong with JC. It was apparent he wasn’t getting restful sleep, even though he joined her in bed at night. The dark circles under his beautiful blue eyes were permanent smudges and they had a haunted look about them. He was always tired and edgy. His temper was flash-fire – and though he was quick to apologize the hurtful words were leaving their mark. She urged him to take naps, but he seemed to fear sleep at night…

One morning, it appeared JC had finally found deep sleep. The restless nights had exacted their toll. Ciel slipped from bed and let him rest. She and Serafina went about their day, careful to be quiet.

JC woke with a start. Ciel…Where was Ciel? The sun was high in the sky. He’d slept hard. Jerking on a pair of jeans, he made his way to the places he thought he’d find her.

Her room – no Ciel.

Living room – no Ciel.

Kitchen – no Ciel.

“Ciel!” he called frantically as he races up to the tower. “Ciel!”

She wasn’t there.

“Oh, God, no!…Please, no…”

Even Serafina was missing.

“You can’t have taken her without a good-bye,” he mumbled as he ran back down the stairs to the entryway. “That’s just cruel.”

Stepping outside, he was greeted by Serafina. “You’re still here!” Snatching the cat up in delight, he exacted a disgruntled meow of surprise. “Ciel!” he cried out.

A moment later, Ciel rounded the lighthouse with a small bouquet of wildflowers she had gathered. She was peaceful as if nothing was amiss.

“Ceely!” He dumped the cat unceremoniously to the ground to snatch the woman to his chest. “Baby, I was so worried!”

Ciel frowned. “Worried? Whatever for?”

“I woke up and you were gone.”

“I thought you should sleep. After lunch I went for a walk.” She put a hand to his beard-roughened jaw. “You seem to get precious little sleep.”

He held her hand to his face. “I thought you’d gone.”

“Gone? Where would I go?”

JC shrugged. “I know I’ve been pretty cranky lately…”

“I would never leave without saying ‘good-bye’. I’m not so cowardly as to do such a thing.”

“Thank you.” He pressed her close, trying to absorb her beneath his skin.

“For what?”

He said nothing, simply holding her for the longest time.

“Uh—Joshua, do you realize you are only wearing half-zipped pants?” And she liked the feel of his warm flesh beneath her cheek. He smelled wonderfully of lovemaking and Envy. But still…

Releasing her, he took her hand and led her inside.

Serafina sat in the middle of the first riser of the steps, glaring at them. First, she was not an outdoor animal. Secondly, the male human had grabbed her up and then without proper regard dropped her to the ground.

“She is looking for a ride.” Ciel softly laughed at the cat’s expression. “She doesn’t like stairs.”

“C’mere, furball.” JC scooped up the haughty feline. “I’ll give you a lift.”

The rest of the day, JC was careful to keep any irritation to himself. He’d been given a reprieve and he wasn’t going to waste it. He needed to remember that every day he spent with Ciel was literally a gift from Heaven. His moods of late didn’t show his appreciation of Ciel.

Ciel thought JC’s attentiveness stemmed from a decent stretch of sleep. Hugs. Smiles. Kisses. Nuzzles. Whispers of love. He was the man she had fallen in love with – and that night when he lay her down, he took extra time to make the experience beyond exquisite.

“I love you with everything in me, Ciel,” were the last words she heard before she drifted off to sleep in his arms.

And JC’s nightly vigil began again.

Ciel spent another morning alone. JC seemed to be running a pattern: not sleeping for several nights then sleeping through a day. She decided, perhaps she should sleep when he slept, so they could be awake together. After lunch, she donned her nightgown and slipped back into bed with her lover.

JC automatically he held her close, not waking.

Serafina came to curl up against her master’s back – and the three of then lay peacefully in slumber.

The sun was sinking on the horizon when a familiar fluttering sound and Serafina’s low growl of displeasure woke JC. His eyes shot open in a panic. Ciel’s golden wings stretched magnificent and beautiful in the pinks and oranges of fading sunlight. For a moment the sight mesmerized him. A question soon replaced his awe. Why was she asleep now?

Serafina, irritated at being displaced by the feathery things, began to swat at Ciel’s wings.

“No!” JC hissed lowly at the feline.

Too late.

Ciel stirred and opened her eyes. She smiled drowsily at him. “Hi.”

“Go back to sleep, angel girl,” he urged her calmly as possibly with his heart pounding in fear. He kissed her forehead tenderly and sent a prayer up to Heaven. Please, not yet.

“I’m not tired. I decided I’d sleep with you. Then tonight we can stay up together.”

That so didn’t work, he thought. She was fully awake. It was only a matter of minutes now…

“I love you, Ciel. Remember you promised to remember that.”

“Of course, I remember. I love you, too.”

He kissed her with such tenderness and sadness; she wanted to cry.

“Joshua?” She sat up to lean over him, stroking his hair.

“I’m not going anywhere – Oh!” Her eyes caught the sight of large wings in the mirrored chest of drawers across from the bed…And she knew.

“Ceely, please…”

“What have I done!” She covered her face with her hands and wept.

JC knelt before her, holding her to his warm, bare chest. “You loved me – and your love saved me.”

“But I—I am…”

“An angel. I know.”

“You knew? Why didn’t I know?”

“I can’t answer that one. I’ve only known a couple of weeks myself. I thought your wings only came out at night. I was wrong. I guess they come out when you sleep deeply.” He wiped her tears away gently with his fingers.

“I’m so confused—“

“Do you remember I love you?”

“Of course, I do.”

“Do you remember being an angel?”

“Of course, I do. My wings were white until I rescued you from that fire. When you fell from the rail of this lighthouse, I caught you and put you to bed. Then I have no recollection until you woke me on the road.”

“I fell from the rail?”

“Yes, you drunken fool.”

So, it hadn’t been a dream after all…“Have you always been there for me, Ciel?”

After the Chasezes took you in, you seemed happy and content. You never called for me. You grew up. I don’t do adults.”

“Then why now?”

“Because you were going to fall off the rail and die if I didn’t intervene.”

“If you are going to leave me, you should have let me die,” he murmured in her hair.

“No! There is still so much wonderful music in your soul.”

“Not if you go, Ceely. The music will go with you.”

She straightened and fluttered her wings to hover a few feet from the mattress. “Even if I could stay, these are hardly inconspicuous.”

“They hide.”

“I don’t know how that happened.”

“You’re leaving,” he stated flatly.

“I must, Joshua.”

JC didn’t even try to hold back his hot tears. “I’ll die a little every morning I wake without you.”

She settled back on the bed, on her knees in front of him. “No. Please, for me, Joshua, thrive.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he sank against her. “I rescued a little boy I adored. I saved a man I came to love. I don’t know how many chances you’ve been allotted.”

“I don’t care, not if I can’t be with you.”

“Not until your life is done – and I pray that is not for many, many years to come.” Ciel held him, stroking his hair and back in a futile attempt to comfort his broken heart.

“Ceely…”

“When you were little, you used to call me ‘Seal-lee’.”

“And you said you weren’t a mattress…”

She smiled as she lifted his head from her shoulder with both hands. As long as she existed, the sight of his beautiful blue eyes awash with tears and full of anguished love would be seared into her soul. “Our time is short.”

One last time, he kissed her – a kiss to hold her through eternity.

A golden glow embraced her and lifted her from the bed. In a burst of warm light, she became a beautiful white dove with bright blue eyes and gold-tipped wings.

JC held out his hands and the bird rested in his palm, still hesitant to leave the realm of human existence. “I love you forever, Ciel. You promised to remember that.”

The dove bobbed its head and cooed softly. I promise.

“Good-bye, my angel girl,” he whispered.

At that moment, the forgotten Serafina leapt at the dove, claws extended.

“No!” JC cried as the cat caught the bird across her feathered breast.

The dove took flight and disappeared into nothingness on Ciel’s cry of pain.

“Bad cat,” JC muttered. A brief moment later, he snatched up the cat, burying his face in her soft fur. Amazingly enough, the contrary feline accepted his manhandling.

“She’s gone.”

The desolate words echoed all the way to Heaven.