Amelia’s Realization
Amelia wondered if traveling with JC and the guys gave her some testosterone overload. She had never been one to think much about physical intimacy and hadn’t spent hours fantasizing about how it would be. Since Nick, she had thought maybe it had been killed in her. Not so. Every day she seemed to be more aware of JC as a man – and as a lover.
No one could fault him in the sensitivity department. He never pushed for more than she freely gave. He would always put an arm around her or give her a quick kiss, no matter who was present – he made no bones about the fact they were a couple. But he never tired to grope her and didn’t make a spectacle of their blossoming relationship – In fact, he’s been almost gentlemanly. His restraint made her feel like the hormonal one!
Did he know how good he looked? Amelia watched JC go through sound check. The weather was humid and his wife-beater molded to his muscled torso like a second skin. His toned arms glistened with perspiration. She had a strong urge to run her hands over his damp body...
“Oh, my!” Amelia fanned herself and tried to chase off the visual in her head.
JC spotted Amelia waving her hand in front of her face and went to her. “Ami, you okay?”
Oh, God! She could smell the remainder of his aftershave and his sweat…She felt the heat of him…
“Baby?”
He looked so worried she had to say something!
“I’m fine, Josh.”
He wasn’t buying it. “What’s wrong?”
“There isn’t anything I can’t share with you, right?”
“We’re friends first,” he assured her.
Amelia met his gaze, certain the sexual intent was clearly readable in her eyes. “This has nothing to do with being friends.”
JC swallowed hard. Surely, he was mistaken…Amelia couldn’t…But she was…”Ami?”
“C’mon, ‘C!” Justin called. “Flirt with her later.”
JC didn’t want to leave her. They were about to take their relationship to a new level—
“Go on, baby,” she whispered. “Later.”
Amelia had gotten word JC had wanted to see her immediately after sound check and the brief rehearsal. He didn’t dance with her or hardly see her during the performance – and afterwards, the dancers usually boarded a different bus. Tonight, appearances be damned, Amelia was coming with him!
JC was talking to one of the crew when he felt Amelia approach from behind. Holding his hands behind his back, he waited until she placed her hands in his. Then he pulled her arms around him, effectively pressing her against his back. Entwining their fingers, he rested them on his ridged stomach.
As he continued talking, Amelia drank in the scent and feel of his hot body. Her cheek was pressed against the damp fabric of his shirt. Her man was perceptive, she’d give him that. This is exactly what she wanted, to experience the heat, the scent, and hardness of him. She would have liked to learn his body with her hands. But he kept them still against his abdomen.
“Thanks,” JC said as the man walked away. Once they were alone, he closed his eyes, drinking in the feel of Amelia’s body pressed against his back. He then took her hands and moved them beneath his shirt, so they rested against his hot flesh. “We can go as slow as you need to, brown-eyes,” he told her quietly.
“I feel like a horny teenager,” she muttered. “I’ve never felt this way before. It’s kind of scary – how strong it is.”
“I know I was surprised as hell earlier. When did you start to feel this way?”
“Weeks ago.”
“Weeks? You’ve done a great job of hiding it from me.” Of course, whatever time they did have as a couple they had to steal, practically.
“Oh, no, today was the first time I had the overwhelming urge to crawl all over you.”
A chuckle rumbled in his chest. “I love your openness.”
She moved her hands up to caress his chest and ribs.
“Mmm, baby, that feels good,” he moaned softly.
“Even the smell of your sweat is an aphrodisiac.”
“I guess, that’s a good thing in this weather—“
“I think that’s how our bed’ll smell after we make love.”
“God, baby, I was sorta hoping this would happen when we were home. I wanted time and privacy.”
“We can wait,” she offered.
“Can we?” He didn’t know if he could – not when she finally wanted him, too!
“We can try. I’ll let you know if I can’t wait.”
“You do that,” he mused. “And I’ll let you know if I can’t.”
“Josh?”
“Hmm?”
“Should I go on the pill or something?”
“That’s up to you, Ami. I’ll take care of it for now.”
“I’ll have to see my doctor in Orlando.”
He’d have to get some protection ‘just in case’. “Tonight, get on our bus.”
“But—“
“Don’t argue, okay? Just do it.”
“You need your sleep.”
“I’ll sleep.”
Amelia let out a soft sigh. “I guess, you’d better tell security I’ll be hanging around to wait for you after the show.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“You say that a lot.”
“What?”
“That you’ll ‘take care of it’.”
“Habit.”
JC removed her hands and turned to her. “You bring out all the protective instincts in me, Ami.”
Amelia slid her hands up his chest and around his neck to bring his head down as she lifted to her toes. She kissed his upper lip, his fuller lower lip, then both. “And you bring out all the primitive mating urges in me.”
He smiled at that admission. He had thought she might have some problems with that, knowing her history. He was glad she trusted him. “I love you, Ami,” he told her just before he kissed her softly.
“I think I fall more in love with you every day. Is that possible?”
“Oh, yeah. That’s a good part of falling in love.”
Nothing she had experienced with JC remotely resembled what she’d had with Nick. How could she have been so wrong! The difference was between a petulant boy and a confident man. JC had a level of maturity that would take Nick years longer to attain than the actual four years separating their ages.
“Uh-oh. You’re thinking again,” he teased. He wondered if she realized he could see the wheels of her mind spinning when she went silent on him.
“Only good stuff,” she replied with a grin.
Looping a companionable arm around her shoulders, he announced, “We’d better get going before they send Justin after us.”
JC was limp with exhaustion when he came off stage. The heat and the humidity of the day had lingered into the night. All night, they had to dance and sing, moving through air thick enough to cut! All agreed showers were needed before the boarded the bus for the next venue. But he needed to find Amelia before that and let her know he’d need an extra couple of minutes before he could join her. JC buried his face in a towel someone had given him as he sucked in oxygen. Damn! It was hard to breath!
“C’mon. I’ll help you get out of those wet clothes.” Amelia was there tugging at his shirt. JC allowed her to strip him down to his shorts and blot him down. “Okay, hit the showers. You’re clothes are set out.”
“Wanna come?” he managed to quip even though he was fairly certain neither of them were up to shower play.
“Don’t you just wish,” she taunted back.
“Another time?”
“You can count on it. Get going.”
JC found Amelia on the bus, chatting with Lance. He’d been glad Lance had held no animosity for Amelia or his bandmate since the bass singer had been so sweet on her before JC came around.
When Lance started to rise, JC waved him down. “You’re fine.”
“You two want to be alone.” Lance knew JC had more or less commanded Amelia ride with them tonight.
“It doesn’t have to be this minute.” JC slid in behind Amelia. Just being close to her was enough for now. When she reached back to pat his leg, it was more than enough. They could talk without saying a word.
“The next venue isn’t going to be like this, is it?” Amelia asked Lance. “I saw how it took a toll on all of you.” Each guy had come off the performance in the same shape JC had, dripping wet and barely breathing.
“I’m hoping it was a freak of nature,” Lance answered.
“Or poor timing,” Amelia added.
“That’s why we did the south first, before the heat set in.”
“I thought you did Mississippi first, because you said you wouldn’t tour unless they did,” she teased. Her relationship with Lance had actually improved once he knew his crush would not be reciprocated. She didn’t have to guard every word or gesture for fear it would encourage him. They had been come good buddies.
He laughed in his mellow tone that would melt many a female heart. “Just a rumor.”
“That’s not what you told the press.”
“I can sling bull with the best.”
“You been hanging around Joey too long,” JC remarked with a smile.
Grinning, Lance rose. “I’ll talk to you guys later,” he said, then walked away.
Amelia sank back against JC. This was nice, a few minutes alone with her favorite guy in the whole world. She turned to press her face against his neck as his arms came around her. They were both tired from a long, tortuously hot day and she couldn’t think of a better way to unwind.
“Do I still turn you on, now that I’ve showered?” he asked, leaning forward to nuzzle her ear.
“Like a switch, Josh,” she assured him.
“Then it just wasn’t sweat pheromones.”
“Uh-uh.”
“I wish we were spending the night in a hotel instead of on the bus.” He reached up to move her hair away from her ear, then placed tiny kisses along the shell, making her shiver. “I got hot just thinking you were hot for me.”
“Down, boy!” she giggled.
His lips continued down her neck. “Yeah, I know I gotta stop, but you taste so good.”
“I won’t tell you, you have to stop, but I might remind you how crazy you’ll make yourself as well as me.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, raising his head to let her face return to her nuzzling spot against his neck. “This is a whole new ballgame for me.”
“What is?”
“Knowing you want me and having to restrain myself. Before, I was holding back, waiting for you to catch up.”
“Want me to take it back?”
“No, Ami, I don’t.” He slid his big hands under the hem of her shirt, resting them just above her navel. He loved the satiny feel of her skin there.
“What did you need to talk about?”
“You were the one who needed to talk,” he reminded her.
“We did our talking at sound check. Besides, you guessed before I could say much.”
He chuckled. “Your eyes practically shouted, ‘I want to get naked with you!’ It wasn’t subtle.”
“I wasn’t feeling subtle.”
“But you’ve calmed down?”
“Mmm-hmm. You knew just what to do.”
JC didn’t remember doing much of anything. “What did I do?”
“You let me get a sensory over-load. You let me press against you. Smell you. Feel you.” One shoulder lifted in a shrug. “It was what I needed.”
“I just know I wanted you against me.”
“We wanted the same thing then.”
They fell silent, watching the night pass by outside the window.
Finally, Amelia said, “Josh, you should go to bed.”
“I don’t want to let go of you.”
She smiled. “Then you’ll have to sleep out here.”
“I can do that.”
“No.” She turned to him. “Go to bed, baby. I’ll find an extra bunk. I brought my bag.”
He stroked her glorious hair. He knew she left it down because he liked it that way. “I want to sleep with you against my body, to feel you, to hear you breathe…”
“It’ll happen, Josh…Soon.”
“I want it now – now that you want me back.”
Her smile broadened. “Now, who’s horny?”
“But, brown-eyes, I’ve always been hot for you.”
Amelia leaned forward to kiss him softly.
JC wasn’t content with that. He pulled her against him, his mouth hungry on hers. His tongue mated with hers. Breaking from her mouth, he pressed opened-mouth kisses along her throat and neck. “Baby girl…”
She tilted her head back to give him better access. “Josh…”
He outlined the scoop neckline of her tank top with his tongue. What he wouldn’t give to have her naked beneath him at that very moment!
“Jesus! Rent a room!” Justin muttered when he and Chris walked in on the scene.
Embarrassed, Amelia hid her face against JC’s neck.
JC glared at his band mate for the remark. Amelia tended to turn shy when teased. He sent a soothing hand down her back. “It’s okay, baby.”
“How did we know we were interrupting a make-out session?” Justin defended.
Getting to his feet, JC brought Amelia along with him. “Let’s find you a bunk for the night,” he told her.
“She can always take yours,” Chris suggested. “And you can take the one above it – unless you want to boost her up there.”
“Thanks, man, but I think she’ll need more privacy than that.”
“That’s okay with me, JC,” Amelia offered.
JC shook his head. He couldn’t bear to know she was that close all night and not do anything about it. And he didn’t particularly like the idea of her being across from Lance and Joey either.
“Come this way.” JC lead her to the very rear of the bus, where the largest sleeping compartment was. “I’ll bring your bag and set it outside the door,” he told her as he slid open the pocket door.
“It’s okay, Josh. I promise I won’t get an attack of the vapors over being caught with you.”
“I shouldn’t have gotten so carried away,’ he muttered.
Amelia chucked him gently under the chin. “A girl kinda likes it when her ‘cool customer’ boyfriend gets carried away, makes her feel irresistible.”
He gave her a rueful smile. “As far as I’m concerned, you are irresistible, Ami.”
“So are you, handsome. We’ll have to be strong together,” she murmured as he lowered his head towards her. She moaned softly as his mouth took hers. It was like he was making love to her mouth, the seductive thrust of his tongue.
“I’ll see you in the morning, brown-eyes,” he told her huskily. In two more days, they’d have an extended hotel stay – and he planned on making Amelia his.
“Josh?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“From now on, I think I’d better ride on the other bus.”
“That might be a good idea, baby.”
Amelia answered the quiet knock and found Joey and Chris at the door of her bus bedroom. “What?”
“C’mon.” Joey grabbed her hand and started pulling her down the narrow corridor.
“Just exactly where are you taking me in my pj’s?” she asked.
“We’re gonna put you in JC’s bunk,” Chris answered quietly.
“And just why are you doing this?”
“We want to make sure he has a good morning, ‘cuz he had a real bad night,” Joey whispered.
“He did?”
“Yeah, he felt bad when we caught him neckin’ with you,” Chris told her. “He reamed Justin.”
Amelia didn’t bother to tell them JC’s loss of sleep was probably more about sexual frustration than guilt.
When they reached the darken area where JC’s slept, Joey instructed, “Climb on in.”
JC took up the entire space with his sprawling body. “Where?” Amelia asked.
“You’ll figure it out,” Chris assured her as he and Joey walked away.
“Figure it out,” Amelia muttered.
Looking down, she was captivated by the innocence of JC’s face in sleep. Gingerly, she climbed over him, to the far side of the bunk and wedged herself between JC and the wall. She froze when he moved, settling his arm across her as he turned to face her direction. It was almost like he knew she was there. He moved his body against hers and pulled her closer. She felt his lower body take notice. This was not a good idea.
“Mmm…Ami…” he purred as he slowly thrust against her.
Oh, God! She was getting hotter by the second! He lowered his head to nuzzle her breasts. Amelia didn’t know if she could take much more. This was really not a good idea. She would end up molesting a sleeping man. With a trembling hand, she stroked his hair back. In doing that, she caused him to lift his head to find her mouth with his. Surrendering, she opened to his hungry search.
JC could taste Amelia. What a wonderful dream! He didn’t want to ever wake up. He could feel her softness and heat, even smell her scent. He pulled her beneath him…
“Josh!” Amelia squeaked.
JC’s eyes blinked open. No wonder it felt so real – it was real! “Ami!”
“Good morning.”
“What in the hell—“ He scrambled back, banging his head and falling off the bunk, landing on the floor. “Damn!”
Amelia giggled at his discomfiture. “Hiya, Josh.”
“What in the hell are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you to wake up.”
“I’m awake now.” He looked at her in amazement. But as she leaned forward, the intention of a kiss in her eyes, he moved to meet her lips. “Good morning, baby.”
“That’s more like it.” She scooted back to sit against the wall. She crooked her finger at him. “Come back in here,” she urged huskily.
He smiled and crawled back into the bunk. Leaning in, he led her in a hot, sweet kiss. When her arms went around his neck, he pulled her against him and lowered her to the mattress. Without breaking the kiss, he grabbed her legs and pulled them around his waist. He knew she had to feel how very aroused he was.
Amelia pulled her mouth from his in a gasp.
“You asked for this, Ami, climbing into bed with me.”
“Actually, Chris and Joey put me in here.” She stroked his hair out of his eyes. “They said they wanted you to have a better morning than you did night. Did you have a bad night, baby?”
He replied nothing, but she was fairly certain, he had beaten up on himself about the position he had put her in – and both of them wanting each other but not having the time or privacy to do a thing about it!
“Josh, we’re going to be lovers. I’m pretty sure everyone has figured that out by now. Yeah, I was a little embarrassed by what Justin said, but I don’t plan on dying of mortification. I’m more likely to seek an opportunity to seek my sweet revenge.”
JC grinned down at her. “When we first met, I thought you were this quiet, serious, shy girl. Where did she go?”
“Is that who you fell for? I am serious. I can be shy sometimes – and I’m quiet until I know what I’m dealing with. If you’re looking for a timid mouse, I’ll disappoint you.”
He tugged at a loose strand of hair escaping from her braid. “No. I like my sassy Amelia just fine. She’s playful and a bit of a tease but never boring – and honest? Man, she can be brutal!”
“That a good thing?”
He leaned to rub his lips over hers. “Oh, yeah.”
“At it again?” came Justin’s unwelcome interruption.
Amelia shoved JC off of her and rose to do battle. “Listen here, sonny boy, try pissing me off one more time and I’m gonna grab you by your earlobes and hang from your ear studs until you beg for mercy! Am I making myself clear?” she stormed.
Both men were howling with laughter at the scene the little girl going up against the much taller boy made.
“Jesus, midget, what a temper!” Justin chortled.
“Believe me, I’ve fought bigger men.”
“Yeah, I know,” Justin returned quietly.
Amelia was shocked by the change in Justin’s demeanor, then she looked at JC. He had trouble meeting her eyes. They knew! “Oh, God!” She took off running for the sanctuary of her own bunk.
“Ami!” JC jumped from his bed, tossing an angry glare at Justin. “Way to go, slick! You trying for some sort of record? How many times in a twenty-four hour period you can hurt her?”
He didn’t wait for an answer as he hurried after Amelia. The pocket door of the rear sleeping quarters was no real barrier to the man who sought to comfort the girl he loved. But JC didn’t want to barge in when he heard her soft sobs.
“Baby, please—“
“Go away.”
“Ami—“
“Please, Josh. Go away.”
“I can’t do that.” Deciding she wasn’t about to admit him on her own, he stepped in and closed the door behind him.
Amelia had flung herself face down on the bed. “How long have you known?” she asked dully, not raising her head.
“After you joined our dancers Justin found out. Johnny told us the ‘official story’ about artistic differences, then the ‘supposed story’ about a crew member harassing you. Then J’ said he’d found out the real scoop.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”
“How? I thought it was better left in the past – unless you chose to tell me.” He sat on the bed, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down her back. “I didn’t know how to ask or what to say. It didn’t make me feel any differently about you.”
Amelia turned over so JC’s hand rested on her stomach. “I was so blind and stupid.”
“You thought you loved him.”
“Key word ‘thought’. I had no idea what love was really like. It doesn’t go anywhere near what I have with you. You know that quiet mouse? That’s what he thought I was. He even said I was the kind of girl a guy settles down with after he’s done having fun. It was like I was trapped in that role, because that’s where he wanted me. But it wasn’t really me. The real me is now.”
“I’m pretty wild about the real you.” He gave her an encouraging smile.
“The night it happened, I was so furious…I had spent another night alone. It is pretty hard on your ego to be left sitting alone when the guy who says he loves you goes out clubbing at every opportunity.” She sighed heavily. “He blamed his cheating on me. Can you believe it? It was my fault, because I ‘wouldn’t put out’.”
“That’s crap,” JC growled.
“Oh, I agree. Liquor and two volatile tempers are a combustible mix. A lot got said that night, most of it in anger. He called me a cold fish and a prude. I told him I wasn’t giving up my virginity to a common alley cat – then it got ugly.”
To JC’s way of thinking, it already sounded pretty nasty. The one thing that stuck in his head – Amelia was a virgin! He’d half-suspected it was true. She had just confirmed it.
“He said he was tired of waiting. I told him, he’d die waiting for me. That’s when he…” She took a shuddering breath, almost reliving that awful night.
“Baby, you can stop any time,” he told her quietly.
She shook her head. “I—I need to talk about this. I need you to know what really happened.”
JC nodded.
“He’s a lot bigger and stronger than me, so he almost got what he wanted. But he’d been drinking enough to be a little slow with the reflexes. I aimed my knee where it would be most effective. He called me a little bitch and slapped me. The impact split my lip.” Self-consciously, Amelia touched the scar at the left corner of her mouth.
He was going to hunt the bastard down and kill him, was JC’s thought looking at the scar.
“I carried a bruise for a while. He didn’t pull any punches. I got full measure. When I saw I was bleeding, I lost it. I started aiming for whatever I could hit. All the commotion brought the others. By the state of my clothes and his unzipped fly, it was fairly easy for them to guess what happened.” Amelia shook her head in amazement. “The next morning, he was apologetic, like that made everything okay. He said he was willing to give it another chance—“
“Christ!” JC growled.
“He asked me to marry him, if you can imagine that. I was having none of it.”
“Good.”
“So, here I am.”
“I had been afraid what he’d done would turn you off intimacy,” JC confessed.
She gave him a small smile. “So far, that hasn’t been a problem for us, has it? I guess, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew he wasn’t the one, that it wasn’t right.” She reached down to lace her fingers with his. “It feels so right with you.”
“Nothing has ever felt so right,” he agreed. A virgin. That put a whole new spin on things. A virgin who had been nearly raped and knocked around – that was even more daunting!
“Stop it.” She read the concern in his eyes. “When you kiss me, when you touch me, it’s nothing like it was with him. I know it’s you. I’m not confusing it in my head. Have I ever acted like I didn’t want you touching me?”
“No.” In fact, she’d been fairly eager for anything he wanted.
“He was more like an eager, hormonal boy. You’re all man.”
Was he blushing, he wondered. Amelia saw him in a way no one had seen him before. “I hope I live up to that.”
Amelia sat up and brushed her lips against his. “You do. Every day. You’ve got old eyes, did you know that? Wise and soulful.”
“I came in here to comfort you, not get an ego boost.”
“You are a comfort, baby, just by being you.”
“We’d better go out there before they start beating Justin to a pulp.”
“Do we have to?” she asked impishly.
“‘Yeah, I think we do,” he chuckled.
“I’m still in my pj’s. I need to change and freshen up.”
JC rose from the bed. “Guess that leaves it to me to go rescue Justin then.”
At the door, he turned back to her. “Ami, at the next hotel, you won’t need to share a room with Karrie.”
“I won’t?”
“Not if you’d rather share one with me.” He let that soak in for a moment. “Are you ready for that?”
Amelia didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“All right. I’ll arrange it.”
“No,” she teased. “You’ll take care of it.”
He grinned. “I’ll take care of it.”
“How is she?” Lance demanded anxiously when JC came into the kitchen area.
“She’ll recover.” Pouring a cup of coffee, he sat across from Lance at the small table. The other three crowded around. “I get the feeling, she never got to tell anyone about it before.” He took a sip of coffee and let it burn down his throat. He had to get a hold of his own emotions.
“She told you?” Lance asked.
JC nodded. “I’d like to get my hands on him.. It’s worse than we knew.”
“Damn!” Justin growled.
“Ever notice that little scar at the corner of her mouth, left side?”
“He did that?” Lance challenged.
JC nodded.
They all fell silent.
“The testosterone level on this bus must be off the scale.” Amelia commented as she joined them. “I appreciate all this outrage on my behalf, I really do, but it’s past. Over. I chose to put it there and leave it. I moved on.” When she reached JC’s side, he slid an arm around her waist and she allowed herself to lean on him.
“A man shouldn’t manhandle a woman,” Justin muttered.
“No, he shouldn’t,” Amelia agreed. “But not everyone plays by the same rules.”
She snatched JC’s cup and took a sip, wrinkling her nose at the taste. “Nasty! When was the last time you cleaned that pot?”
JC chuckled and retrieved his cup. “You mean it’s not supposed to taste like that?”
“You guys need a keeper,” she laughed.
“You taking the job?” Joey asked.
“Uh-uh. Too much work.”