Love Hurts

After her shower, Clare threw herself naked across the bed. She enjoyed the cool, soft sheets against her bare skin. It had been an exhausting couple of days and she wanted to rest awhile before making dinner. Strange, cooking for one just didn’t feel right anymore. JC hadn’t known how long he would be gone when he’d left at the beginning of the week. She wasn’t used to the aloneness any longer. Tonto was good company, but Clare missed another voice and smiling blue eyes…Oh, Lordy, she had it bad! She chided herself as she drifted off to sleep.

“Hey, girl!” JC set his bag down before patting Tonto on the head when the dog met him at the front door. “How’s Clare been?” The dog wiggled happily as if to answer. Making a quick check of the office, JC decided Clare had to be in the loft. He’d missed her these last days. Her smile. Her teasing. He’d become addicted to her. Short telephone calls were hardly enough to sustain him. Something had to be done; he didn’t like this being away from her.

Climbing the stairs, JC found what he sought. Clare, gloriously naked and tempting, asleep on the wide bed they shared. She was sprawled face down, her legs apart in seeming invitation. Quietly, he undressed and joined her. Brushing her hair away from the side of her neck, he kissed and nuzzled her tender flesh.

Clare was in the middle of a wonderful, sensual dream.

JC was kissing and caressing her, rousing her effortlessly as he seemed to do far too easily. She was naked beneath him as he trailed his hot mouth down her spine. She moaned softly.

At her little moan of pleasure, JC sucked at her neck and took little nips of her flesh. He sent a caressing hand down her backside. At her buttocks, he ran light fingertips along the soft globes and the cleft between.

“JC, don’t tease,” Clare complained.

The lover grinned down at her sweet rump quite wickedly. He ran his tongue between her buttocks, tormenting her in a most enjoyable way. She trembled and parted her legs even further in bold invitation. Sending long fingers between her legs, he taunted, “Want something, Clare? Hmm?…”

JC watched as Clare’s thighs moved wider apart. He could clearly see she was wet and swollen, begging for something more than light touches. He stroked into her with one finger.

She felt his hot sex throbbing against her most vulnerable flesh. Wedging one thigh between hers, he eased into her. “This what you’re wanting, baby?”

“Yess!…” Clare hissed in pleasure.

Abandoning all pretense of trying to wake her, JC mounted her, scissoring their legs so he could enter her from behind while letting his fingers stroke her from the front.

“Oh, baby, I need this!” she sighed in her sleep.

“Then you can have it all, honey,” he growled as he began thrusting into her.

He was creating marvelous friction fore and aft. The hardened buds of her breasts scraped the sheet as he moved on her, heightening the need for completion.

“Hurry, darling!” she urged breathlessly.

Not wanting to leave her steamy dream, Clare fought against wakefulness – until she realized the wild sensations of lovemaking did not diminish when her eyes opened. “Ooh, baby, you’re home!” She nudged her butt up into him.

“Uh-huh,” JC grunted as he continued to move and out of her wet heat. “Miss me?”

“Not in the least!” she lied and received a playful nip on the neck as reprisal. “Whip me…Beat me…Make me write bad checks…Anything! Just don’t stop!”

He chuckled breathlessly. “No way.” Increasing his speed, he felt her walls begin to clench. “That’s my baby girl,” he crooned. “Let me know I’ve been missed.”

She was swamped with wave after throbbing wave of intense pleasure. “Jace!…”

“Clare!” he cried out as he exploded into her. Gasping, he collapsed on top of her. “Damn!”

Twisting her head around, she met his eyes. “Welcome home, darling.” She gave him a drowsy smile.

“Hiya, babe. That was some homecoming." He lifted off of her and lay next to her on his back. Stroking her honey hair, he gazed into her satisfied eyes. “I did miss you.”

She gave him a saucy grin. “Uh-huh.”

“No, Clare. I missed you. Your face across from the breakfast table. Your body next to mine while I sleep. You make these sweet sounds when you sleep…Like you know I’m there and it makes you content.”

“It does,” she confirmed softly.

Lifting his head from the mattress, he kissed her tenderly. “You make me feel that way, too.”

Clare traced his lips with a gentle finger. “I was putting off making dinner, because I didn’t want to eat alone,” she confessed. “That is so not me.”

“It’s you, honey. It’s the Clare you are now.”

Shifting so she could rest her head on his shoulder, she toyed with the medallion at his throat. Some days, she barely recognized the woman who looked back at her in the mirror. That woman had almost a glow about her. Her eyes sparkled with known love.

“Why don’t I call out for dinner,” JC suggested. “We can eat up here in bed while we watch TV or just chill or something.”

“Sounds nice.”

He waited for her to shift away and dress. Instead she closed her eyes and snuggled closer. “Clare?”

“I feel too good to move.”

His arms came around her. “The we’ll stay like this until you’re ready to move.”

“Never…” she murmured. “I want to stay like this forever.”

Maybe it was time to talk commitment.

Once JC decided on the date of his party, he and Clare discussed options and plans. They decided on a late afternoon beach party and barbeque. Nothing fancy, all very laid-back and relaxed. He was amazed at how quickly Clare took on the preparations. Once given carte blanche, she went to work. Tables and chairs needed to be rented. Food had to be ordered. Beverages, alcoholic and non-alcoholic had to be selected. Not only did she handle it all efficiently, she did it cheerfully!

“You’re amazing!” JC told her as they stood on the deck, watching a temporary stage being set up for the small band they hired for the party. She had even had a dance floor planned for the patio area. He never would have thought of that.

“Why?”

“Because you’ve thought of everything.”

“I hope I did.” She looked at her list. “The guy roasting the pig should be here fairly early tomorrow morning…The bartender and wet bar will be set up tomorrow after lunch…”

“Do you do many of these parties?”

“A couple…”

“Clare—“

“Hey. Mrs. Chah-sez!” one of the workers called, interrupting them.

“Hmm…interesting pronunciation,” Clare murmured. “I’m not Mrs. Chasez,” she called back. “What can I do for you?” She left JC’s side to see what the workmen needed.

“Mrs. Chasez…” JC tested the name on his tongue. “Clare Chasez…” It sounded good to him. Maybe after the party…

“I have condors in my stomach,” Clare announced as she pressed a hand over her stomach.

JC looked over to catch the gesture. Clare nervous? He didn’t know that was possible. She certainly didn’t look it. She looked like cool perfection; only the little frown line between her eyes gave her away. “Honey, you’ve got nothing to be worried about. You’ve met most of these people at one time or another,” he reminded her.

“This is different.”

He didn’t ask what made it different. Instead, he moved behind her as she twisted her hair into a smooth chignon. His eyes met hers in the mirror. “You’ll be great, Clare,” he assured her. “You’re smart. You’re bright. You’re interesting. And best of all, there isn’t a snobby bone in your body.”

“That would be a little hard where I came from.”

“And look how far you’ve come.”

Clare leaned back against him with a sigh. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Sure you have. Every time you get a new client.”

“That is work. It’s what I do. I’m in control.”

“You had no trouble with Camellia’s party.”

“I wasn’t on display. No one was interested in who I was or what I was like.”

JC chuckled. “I was plenty interested.”

“These are your friends…” She gave a frustrated little sigh. “I am overreacting. I know I am.”

Brushing a kiss on the nape of her neck, he told her, “Once you get into the moment, you’ll shine.”

She was radiant, JC thought with a happy sigh as he watched Clare move from group to group. She was the perfect hostess, not in that socialite sort of way but in a genuine way. She was witty and bright. People just naturally responded to her – and she thought herself an uninteresting loner. That was so not his beautiful Clare. His smile only grew wider as he approached.

“What are you gawking at, Chasez?” she demanded jokingly.

He put his hands on her waist and pulled her to him. “Only the most beautiful girl here tonight.”

Clare glances over her shoulder. “Where?”

With a gentle finger under her chin, he brought her back to face him. “Right here, honey.” He kissed her softly.

“Mmm…better than my crab puffs.”

“High praise!” JC laughed. “Considering the raves they’re getting.”

“Then I’m doing okay with your friends?”

“Okay doesn’t even begin to cover it.” He hugged her. “Clare, you fit in right where you belong – in my life.”

“I do? You’re friends are so creative and talented…”

“So’re you.”

“Not like you and your friends.”

“I’m not going to argue the point.” He kissed her again.

The dinner and the party were a success as was Clare.

“Dude, your lady knows how to throw a real shindig,” Tony told JC as he was ready to depart.

“She even surprised me,” JC said.

“Clare seems like good people.”

“The best.”

“So…when does she meet the folks?”

JC smiled. Tony had been his friend for too long; he knew when JC was serious about a girl. “Damn soon if I have any say.”

“Have a say about what?” Clare appeared at JC’s side and slid an arm around his waist.

“That’s right. I don’t have a say,” JC teased, flicking a finger at her nose.

“None whatsoever.”

Tonto strolled around the house and sat at Clare’s side. Clare reached down to rub the dog’s ears. “This has been a long day for you too, hasn’t it, girl.” It became apparent that Tonto liked children, that she knew children. The few that had attended the party with their parents had been entertained and watched over by the big dog.

“I think tomorrow she’ll be more than happy to sleep in if we decide to,” JC remarked.

“Excuse me? One of us has to get up when the rental people get here,” Clare reminded JC.

Chuckling, JC hugged her waist. “Okay, then we will sleep in.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll set the alarm.”

Tony tipped his hat to Clare in true gentlemanly cowboy style. “Thank you for your hospitality, Clare. You did good.”

“You’re most welcome – and thank you.”

“I’ll be seeing—“ Tony never got a chance to finish.

Tonto shot from Clare’s side, heading for the street. “Tonto!” Clare tried to call the dog back; the normally obedient dog didn’t listen.

It only took a hair’s breadth of time, but Clare saw and heard it all in painful slow motion. Her beautiful companion pushed a child from the path of a car speeding past. The child shrieked in terror. A car racing from the opposite direction struck brave canine. Clare’s scream echoed in her own ears as she heard the sickening thud of first the front and then the rear bumped strike the dog down. Not caring, Clare ran to the bloodied, broken dog, lifting her limp head to her lap.

“No...no...you can’t…you can’t go…” Clare whispered. “You can’t leave me…we had plans…you…can’t…” Tonto’s head lolled to the side as the noble golden shuddered out her last breath. Sobbing, Clare buried her face in the silky fur of Tonto’s neck. “Noooo!…” she wailed.

JC came to her side, tenderly lifting her into his arms. “Come here, baby,” he murmured as she momentarily resisted. She cried, broken-hearted with grief like she had never known. Pressing her face into JC’s neck, she closed her eyes and surrendered.

“I’ll move Tonto and cover her,” Tony offered quietly.

“Thanks, man.” JC nodded as he passed.

He carried Clare into the house and up to the loft. For a long time, he merely sat on the bed, rocking her. When her sobs weakened to whimpers, then the whimpers to silence, he gently laid her on the bed. Her clothes, hands and face were covered in blood. “Honey, let’s get these clothes off of you,” he said. She neither cooperated nor fought, listless in his grip. He realized she was very probably in shock. “I’ll be right back,” he told her before he disappeared into the bathroom. When he came back he carried a damp washcloth. He dabbed at the blood in her hair before wiping her face and hands. “Clare…baby, talk to me,” he urged softly.

“Tonto’s dead,” she announced dully, her eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“I know. I’m so sorry…”

“My first dog ever…”

“I know.” He didn’t know what to do or say. He was helpless in the face of her pain.

“I’m tired.”

“I’m sure you are. You just crawl under the covers and rest. You did a lot today.”

Like a zombie, Clare did as he had said. “Set the alarm. The rental people will be here at ten.”

“Don’t you worry about it, honey. I’ll take care of it.” Leaning over, he pressed a tender kiss on her forehead. “Night, honey. I love you.” Turning off the light, he was well aware she hadn’t answered him with a like declaration.

JC made certain the alarm never had a chance to chime and awaken Clare the next morning. He was up and greeted the men from the rental company. He made a call to have Tonto removed and buried where Clare could visit. He arranged for a proper headstone for the dog. He hoped his efficiency would lighten some of Clare’s worries so she was free to mourn and heal. Clare slept through most of the day, staying up in the loft, avoiding life. She refused food and when JC tried to hold her, she held herself stiffly.

When night came again, Clare made an announcement. “I don’t like love. Love hurts. I’d rather be alone.”

The next morning, Clare told JC she wanted him to move out. He knew there was no fighting the pain she wanted to bear alone. He grabbed a few essentials and said he’d get the rest at another time.

“JC,” he barked into his cellphone as he waited for his lunch to be served at his favorite diner.

“Mr. Chasez? This is Mary.”

Mary? “As in Clare’s Mary?” he asked.

“Yes, I work for CTS. Doctor Gatlin asked me to pass a message to you.”

“Which is?”

“I am to tell you she plans to be out of town for several days and it would be an excellent time for you to pick up your things.”

Clare hadn’t even given him the courtesy of telling him herself. Clare had passed it to her appointment manager. “I’ll do that. Thanks.”

“Have a good day, Mr. Chasez.”

Have a good day? His lover had just terminated him.

JC let himself into the quiet house. His clothes had been neatly folded and stacked on the kitchen table. His toiletries were in a bag and another bag held his shoes. Efficient as always, that was Clare. He didn’t even have to check the loft to know everything of his was there. Clare wouldn’t leave a trace of him behind. Checking her office, he noted that everything of Tonto’s was gone as well. The dog was gone as surely as if she never existed. The dog had died – JC was being erased. He was dead in Clare’s eyes as well.

Something shiny on the bookshelf caught his eye. It was a silver picture frame that had been turned face down. A picture of Clare, Tonto and JC. The couple smiled into the camera and the dog appeared to grinning as well. Defiantly, JC set the frame back up on the shelf. Clare might have avoided ‘good-bye’, but he was leaving this reminder of the fact he had been a part of her life. They had been happy and they had been in love. And just because she had decided love was too painful, the love still remained.