Chapter Seven: Greg's Final Good-bye
Despite the fact JC had rediscovered Lisa as a desirable woman she seemed oblivious. If she realized his attraction she was very good at pretending not to see it. Little had changed beyond his avoiding being alone with her, touching her. It was possible during the day; the children were great chaperons. But after they had been put to bed, it was too easy for JC and Lisa to bump into each other in the upstairs hallway. Inevitably she walked him to the door at night, just wanting a few moments of 'adult' time. He was supposed to be her friend, her champion and confidant. If she needed to pour out her pain and fear, JC was supposed to comfort her, to soothe her – that meant taking her into his arms. When she tipped her tear-stained face up to give him a grateful smile, it was difficult to resist the urge to kiss away those tears. Instead he held her loosely as possible and escaped as quickly as he could.
JC was in a meeting when his cellphone vibrated. Looking at the number, he knew it had to be important – Lisa's cell number. "Excuse me. I gotta take this,” he told the others as he pressed talk. "Lisa, what's up?"
"I need you," came a small, tearful voice.
She needed him? "Where are you, honey?"
"The hospital. Greg's..." She broke down into sobs.
"Same as before?"
"Yes."
"I'll be there, baby, soon as I can."
Ringing off, he rose from his chair. "This'll have to wait," he announced as he rushed from the room. Lisa needed him and this time he wouldn't fail her.
JC found Lisa pacing in front of Greg's hospital room door. She clutched a fistful of tissues in one hand and her other arm was wrapped around her middle as if she was trying to hold herself together. This had to be frightening for anyone, but Lisa had the extra burden of darkness. "I'm here, honey," he called softly.
The moment his arms were around her, she collapsed against him. She sobbed into his shirt, gripping the fabric as if it were her lifeline. He rubbed her back soothingly, just murmuring comforting sounds until her tears subsided.
"Why aren't you in there?" JC asked.
"He's drifting in and out...He told me to come out and wait for you."
"Let's go then." Keeping an arm around her waist, he guided her into the room. What he saw made him heartsick. The Greg Castle he had known was gone. This wasted, gaunt shell couldn't be Greg. He'd only been gone two weeks.
Lisa found the bottom of the bed, letting the rail lead her to her husband's side. The morphine made it difficult for him to remain awake. Pain medication was all he allowed. He wanted no means – extraordinary or otherwise – to extend his existence. He had 'do not resuscitate" order as well. If his organs failed, they were to let him go. He hadn't wanted to prolong the agony for himself or his family.
"Lisa, why didn't you call me sooner?" JC demanded in a whisper as he came to her side.
"You said you had things you needed to do..."
"Nothing as important than being here for you and the kids."
Lisa found her husband's cheek, stroking it gently. "Greg?"
Greg's eyelids fluttered and struggled open. Finally glassy blue eyes focused on Lisa's face. He managed a simile of a smile that looked more like a grimace. "Hey, beautiful, come here often?"
"What you know about picking up girls could fit in a thimble, Greg Castle." Lisa quipped in return, combing her fingers through his hair tenderly.
"Because you put a ring in through my nose the first time you smiled at me."
JC's heart ached for the couple. How could this be happening? How could God allow it? Lisa needed Greg.
"JC is here," Lisa said.
Greg lifted his eyes to the other man. JC wore a tee shirt and pants that looked as if they had been wadded in a ball for weeks. He was unshaven and rumpled. He looked like a guy with no responsibilities. Greg could only hope JC was up to the task he was about to take on. "JC," Greg nodded.
"What's up dude?" JC tried to sound cheerful and normal but his voice cracked on unshed tears. He had always known Greg Castle was one of the good guys. Now he had an affection and deep respect for the man. JC realized he was going to miss Greg, too.
"Not me I'm afraid. You ready for this?"
"If I say 'no' will you stay?"
"If it were up to me." Greg looked to Lisa then back to JC. "I'm leaving you the most priceless treasure a man can know, my wife and my children. I carried the responsibility for nine years. It's up to you to take it the rest of the way." Greg extended his hand and the two men clasped each others' hands in true friendship and trust. "They're yours. Don't fuck up."
In spite of the moment, JC had to chuckle. "I didn't think you even knew that word."
"I guess we've taught each other things. Just don't say it in front of the kids, especially Digger."
"I won't." JC promised.
A steady stream of tears made paths down Lisa's cheeks. Greg was relinquishing his responsibilities to the younger man. He was saying his final good-bye. "Rest, darling," she urged her husband.
"I'll have time enough to rest. Maybe I'll learn to play the harp. Don't look that good in white though..." Greg tried to keep it light.
"Oh, Greg..." Lisa whispered helplessly. There was so much to say, but she couldn't find the words.
Greg held out his arms. "Come here, Lisa."
Gingerly she climbed onto the bed to be held one last time in her husband's arms. They said nothing, simply holding each other. Greg pressed his face into her silky hair. They wept silently for the loss of each other.
JC headed for the door, wanting to give the couple the privacy of their last good-bye. This was probably Greg's rally, his last burst of energy and lucid thought before dying.
"Goodbye, JC," Greg called before the man could make his escape. "Thank you."
All JC could do was nod. Letting the door close behind him, he leaned against the wall. Shutting his eyes, he tipped his head back trying to get a grip on his emotions. Damn! He hadn't realized how much he had come to care about Greg. And now...he had four kids to father – and their mother to protect. He wasn't fool enough to believe Lisa could just fall into his arms. She needed to mourn Greg and then come to care for JC as a man. In time, maybe she would let JC into her heart. Tears slipped down his cheeks.
A moment later, a doctor and nurse rushed by him to enter Greg's room. When they reemerged Lisa was with them.
"He's gone," she whispered, not quite believing it.
"I'm so sorry, baby." JC held her tight, letting her weep. He only wished he could absorbed some of her pain.
After a while, Lisa pulled back wiping her eyes with her fingers. "I have to call Greg's attorney. He will come and take care of all the arrangements. Can you take me home?"
"I sure can."
"Scott and Krista will be home soon...How am I gonna tell my babies their daddy is gone?"
"I'm sure the right words will come."
Lisa could only hope that was true.
They gathered in the family room. Digger climbed onto JC's lap. Bess leaned against the man as she stood on the sofa cushions, her thumb in her mouth. Scott was opposite Bess. Krista sat in front of Bess. The significance of the pile was not lost on JC. The children sensed something big was coming and since they were used to an alpha male household, they gravitated towards him.
Lisa perched on the far cushion gathering her words. She only hoped she could say this horrible thing in the best way possible. "You all know Daddy's been very sick for some time now."
Four solemn faces bobbed in nods.
"Well, today he felt so very bad God decided to take him to heaven so Daddy wouldn't be in pain anymore."
"He won't come back?" Krista questioned.
"I'm afraid not, sweetie. When people go to live with the angles they can never come back. But he will watch over us from heaven. He'll still love us."
"Dad is gone?...Forever?" Scott asked.
"Yes, Scott. He's gone forever."
The boy turned his face against JC's shoulder and wept. Krista reached for her mother to cry in her arms. The twins probably didn't comprehend much beyond Daddy wasn't there and their older siblings were upset. Bess' little rosebud mouth trembled as she turned to wrap her arms around JC's neck. Pressing her face into his hair, sobs shook her tiny body. JC put am arm around the two children, rubbing their little backs soothingly.
"Daddy's wif angels," Digger announced, cocking his head towards JC.
"Yeah, he is, little dude," JC answered.
"Nebah come home?"
"No, he can never come home."
"I miss him."
"We all will, buddy."
After another thoughtful moment, Digger pinned JC with a look from blue eyes so like his father's. "You stay?"
"I'm staying," JC assured the boy. This was not the time to go into the details of how life was about to change for them all.
They went through the motions of normalcy that night, preparing and eating dinner, then getting ready for bed. There was an extra round of hugs and kisses. Lisa was certain her bed would be full before the night was too old – and she would welcome their warm little bodies. This was the first time since her blindness she felt alone and it frightened her, so she sought the only solace she could.
JC was stretched out on the family room sofa in his pajamas. There was no way in hell he was leaving his family tonight. They needed his presence if nothing else.
"JC?" Lisa called softly.
"I'm awake, Lisa." He sat up and drew her down to sit beside him.
"I—I don’t know what to say...how to explain...I have no right..."
"Just tell me, honey," he told her quietly.
"Hold me? I feel so alone."
His arms went about her snuggly, letting her head rest against his chest.
"After I knew I was going to survive the accident, I had to deal with living without sight. I won't say it was easy, but Greg's attitude and devotion made it bearable. Not once did I feel so alone in the darkness. Greg was always there with me. Now..."
"I'm here," JC assured her quietly.
"For the children. I am so grateful for that—"
"I'm here for you, too, Lisa. If you let me."
"That isn't fair to you—"
"Let me worry about fair."
With a sigh, she melted into him. "Then can I ask one more favor?"
"Anything."
"Will you sleep with me?"
JC was stunned. He knew she literally meant 'sleep' and nothing more, but it spoke of her trust in him. "Sure, honey."
"I mean the children will want some adults to cling to..."
"It's cool, Lisa. I understand."
"And I need someone to reach out to..."
"I'm here. I'll always be here."
She raised her hand to his face, learning his features with her fingertips. In her mind's eye, she tried to imagine what the boy she had known looked like as a man. "You finally have to shave."
“Yeah, the beard is pretty thick."
"You're hair is longer."
"No one tells me how to look anymore."
"Has love treated you well?"
"Not particularly."
"I'm sorry."
"Seems like I haven't chosen well since you."
"I wasn't a good choice either."
"You gave me confidence in myself. You let me be a man. That meant a lot."
Lisa said nothing merely resting her head against his shoulder. Finally, with a sigh, she murmured, "We should go up to bed before the children come looking for us."
This was what he had wanted, JC thought, Lisa in his arms as they lay in bed. But he had never wanted it at the cost of Greg's life. Lisa had cried herself to sleep using his shoulder as a pillow. Now she lay trustingly against him, oblivious to his turmoil of guilt. He'd want what Greg Castle had – And now he had it all. The woman JC had wanted and stolen briefly from Greg over nine years ago was in JC's arms once more. The son he had fathered would call JC 'Dad'. Greg and Lisa's other children were JC's as well. JC had it all...
"Dad C?" Scott called from the bedroom doorway.
"Yeah, Scott."
"Mom okay?"
"She will be." He'd see to it.
"Can I?—"
Before the boy could finish his request, JC patted the mattress next to him. "Climb on in, son."
Scott slid beneath the covers, curling against JC's back. JC hadn't expected that. He hadn't expected to become the nucleus of the family immediately.
One by one the children appeared to join the family bed.
JC Chasez was truly a family man.