Chapter Eight: A Letter From Greg
JC woke to find himself at the bottom of a pile of warm, soft bodies. Lisa, it seemed, was a sprawler. One arm was thrown across his chest and one knee was wedged between his. Krista was against her mother’s back. Scott lay on JC’s other side with Digger on top of him. Bess was curled up on JC’s chest, using her mother’s arm as her pillow. He wanted to hug them all, hold them tight and protect them. This had to be what Greg had felt, like he would stand between his family and the world. Frankly the depth and the power of the emotion startled him. He was now the head of this cozy family unit, their leader – and it was an awesome responsibility.
Lisa woke slowing. She felt the weight of small bodies against her – and a solid male form beneath her. Too slight to be Greg…Then the awful truth slammed into her consciousness. She let out a little whimper, pressing her face against JC’s shoulder to muffle the sound.
“Shh…baby, I’ve got you,” JC crooned against her hair. His arm tightened around her holding her even closer. “I know it hurts so damn much, honey. We’ll get through it, I promise.”
After her sobs faded into weak hiccupping noises, she laid her head on his shoulder. “You sound like you mean that,” she said quietly.
“I do mean it.”
“You know you are under no legal obligation.”
“I have a moral obligation aside from my promise to Greg. You’re the mother of my child. I couldn’t leave you to fend for yourself a second time.”
“I’m not destitute.”
“No, you’re blind,” he said bluntly. “And you have four children in your care.”
“We would manage.”
“I’ve no doubt you could, Lisa, but you don’t have to.” He bussed her forehead tenderly. “Or is this your way of telling me to go away?”
“No,” she sighed softly. “I don’t want you to leave, but I don’t want you to feel trapped.”
“I am only trapped by my love for these kids.” And his love for her, but he kept that to himself. She lay so trustingly in his arm and felt so very right there, it was all he could do not to taste her mouth.
“I suppose I should get up and call Spencer, but I really don’t want to move.”
“Then don’t. Close your eyes and try to go back to sleep. Today we’ll just play it by ear. Everything else can wait.”
“You’re so good to me,” she whispered, snuggling down to sleep.
“You deserve it, honey.”
Lisa let fatigue and stress pull her down into the oblivion of sleep.
JC lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering how he was going to fight his feelings for Lisa while she mourned Greg’s loss. He knew what he wanted and was fairly confident he could have it eventually. It was just a matter of patience and timing. Turning his head, he nuzzled Lisa’s hair and followed her into slumber.
Being a husband and father was a lot of work, JC reflected as the minister spoke over Greg’s grave. The details of preparing the family for today had been numerous and he’d seen to them all personally. First, he had to make certain Lisa had appropriate dress for both the visitation and funeral. He’d also arranged for someone to do her make-up since she was so pale. The children had needed clothes for today as well – dresses for the girls, suits for the boys. Then there had been a bit of nastiness when Greg’s parents appeared at the visitation. They had recognized JC as ‘that boy’ and decided to rail at Lisa for bringing him into the picture at such an inappropriate time. Armed with the knowledge of how they had treated the young, pregnant Lisa and knowing how Greg had never forgiven them, JC had no problem telling them to shut up and leave. Greg had chosen not to contact them when he knew he was dying, so he hadn’t wanted to mend the rift with his parents. JC would be damned if he would let them hurt Lisa a second time in Greg’s name. Lisa’s grateful smile was all the thanks he could have asked. He was now the shield between Lisa and the rest of the world.
At the graveside, they presented a united front. JC tightened his hold on Digger as the toddler squirmed restlessly on his perch of JC’s right hip. The boy seemed to know he couldn’t pitch a tantrum, but he was not happy being restrained. Bess could be trusted not to take off into the crowd of mourners; Digger could not. Lisa stood on JC’s right, beautiful and sad in quiet dignity. Krista stood directly in front of her mother looking much the same. How could the nearly seven year old be so stoic? Bess stood in front of JC, clutching his pant leg in a death grip. Scott stood to his father’s left, leaning against him, overwhelmed by it all. JC had his arm around his shoulders occasionally stroking his hair in a comforting gesture. No one could question JC’s presence since Greg had made it widely known JC was a welcomed family friend; but seeing JC and Scott side by side did raise some speculative eyebrows. Their shared genetics was rather apparent.
After the casket was lowered, each child stepped forward to drop a red rose into the grave. JC led Lisa forward to do the same.
“Good-bye, darling,” she whispered achingly.
As the family made its way back to the waiting limousine, Greg’s attorney Spencer Martin waylaid them. He offered his condolences once more, and then asked Lisa about the reading of the will.
“Not for a couple of days,” JC told him firmly. “Give her some time.”
“But—”
“Is there something that requires immediate attention?”
The man looked at JC, then to Lisa, then back to JC as if assessing the relationship. “Not really.”
“Then it can wait. Lisa is wiped out.”
Martin looked anything but pleased still he nodded in agreement. He pulled a thick envelope from his pocket. “I take it that you are Joshua Chasez.”
“Yeah.”
“Then this is for you.”
JC took the envelope with his name on it in bold male script. “Thank you.” He tucked it into his jacket. “Now if you’ll excuse us." He herded the family into the car.
Lisa and Krista visibly wilted, as if the last of their energy had been spent. Lisa lay her head back on the seat and let a tear slip down her cheek.
Digger proceeded to clamber all over the leather seats as if they were part of a new playground.
Scott remained at JC’s side.
Bess climbed onto JC’s lap, curling one hand into his hair and popping her thumb into her mouth.
“Thank you, JC,” Lisa said quietly. “I don’t think I am up to the reading of the will, even if it is merely a formality. Greg and I discussed most everything…”
“It’s cool, honey. It can wait.”
“What did Spencer give you?”
“Just an envelope.”
“Hmm…Well, I don’t think I have ever heard anyone refer to you as Joshua before.” She sent a wan smile in his direction. “Do you prefer it?”
“I’ve been JC for half of my life. Only Mom calls me Josh.”
“That didn’t answer my question.”
He shrugged even thought she couldn’t see the gesture. “I answer to both. I’ve always been JC to you. It’s what I’m used to hearing, so I guess I do prefer JC.”
Lisa nodded tiredly.
“This afternoon naps all around, guys,” JC announced firmly – and no one complained.
JC propped his back against the headboard of Lisa’s bed as she lay down for her nap. She gravitated towards his warmth. Her cheek ended up against his side, nuzzling into the soft fabric of his tee shirt. Reaching down, he combed his fingers through her hair, making her smile in her sleep. She seemed to like being close and being touched in her sleep. It dawned on him that he and Lisa had never slept together before Greg’s death. They had made love, but they’d never shared a bed – and usually had to part soon after. Each night he expected her to send him back to the sofa; each night she fell asleep, safe in his arms. It was going to take dynamite to remove him from her bed now. He wouldn’t go willingly.
He reached for the envelope on the nightstand.
“Dad C?” Krista appeared at the door, hopping from foot to foot.
“Hey, princess.” JC smiled at her.
“Can I sleep here?”
“Sure, baby.”
She climbed on the bed and took the pillow on the left of JC, opposite of her mother. “You aren’t leaving us, are you?”
“No, I’m not – and if I do have to go away for a while I’m taking you all with me,” he assured her.
She gave him a sleepy smile. “Okay.”
JC smoothed her hair tenderly as she closed her eyes, then he picked up the envelope in his lap. He recognized the handwriting as Greg’s. When he pulled the sheets of yellow legal pad from the envelope, he decided these weren’t legal papers.
“Daddy, seep wif you?” Bess appeared at the foot of the bed.
“Us too.” Scott arrived hand in hand with Digger. Digger pulled away and catapulted himself towards the bed. He climbed onto the mattress without invitation.
“Sure, guys. C’mon up.”
Scott assisted Bess before stretching out on the bed, too.
It took only minutes for the children to fall asleep comforted by the presence of the adults.
JC began to read the letter from Greg.